Almost Divorce- Part 10 Parts are parts..until they are attached to people.

This series is  published once a week on Thursday’s.  Or you can start at the beginning here

So here I am, it’s close to Christmas and I’ve started going to chat.   The Husband and I are still trying to work through this issue ourselves, we haven’t started counseling yet.   It’s been almost 2 years since this first started and I was thinking about the very beginning today while I was driving home from my massage and facial.   This post is a week ahead so I’ll have some time to think about it more while I vacuum the house later to get ready  for a  Vault Denim party I’m having tomorrow. Aren’t my days off really exciting lovies? I should take a day or two off after all my Half Marathons.

In the very beginning  I  did not feel safe enough to show my face.  I hadn’t shown any features  identifiable to anyone other than exes in my GW pics, so I didn’t feel comfortable showing my face on the cam.  Plus The Husband wasn’t down with it and in the very early beginning I am still  of the mind set that we are a team on this. The idea of divorce as an option wasn’t in my mind until The Husband made it one.   So I’d take careful pains to position the small cheapy clip on web cam to the top of my monitor and show from about the top of my lips to the bottom of my  boobs.  I can do a post sometime on the inner tricks and tips of  still and web cam management and body posing if anyone is interested. Maybe I  should start that intimate for your man’s eyes only  bedroom photo shoot business because I should have a PHd in the subject as much as I’ve studied it.

The levels of the Rabbit Hole

I’ve talked before  about assigning GW  various levels of the rabbit hole in my mind, how some felt safer or more real than others. For me it looked something like this from ewwwwww to ohhhhhh on  my opinion of safety and real. Ewww being not very safe or real and ohhhhh being more safe and real.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ( parts is parts)

• public chat
• public PM’s. PM’s= Private conversations between two parties are conducted via PM’s.    The more friends I had in chat or the more naked I got the more PM’s I got from the moment I entered a room until  I left it.  Lots of lurkers seem to like to send PM’s.   It’s basically just private conversations.  Compliments and flirting and teasing or-conversations with my friends that were private.   Most  potential hooking up that starts in the flirting and fantasy of the  chat roll ends in the PM.  It’s the last stop before you find out what kind of friends you’re going to be with the new boy.
• a one on one session  in a private chat room with some dude I met in public chat ( I met my favorite boys all in public chat btw, including PJ and my favorite playmate of all time, The Runner)
• GWP chat
• GWP PM’s
• A one on one session in a private chat room with someone I knew from GWP
• Emailing, G-chat or Skyping with   GW names
• Emailing, G-chat or Skyping with GW names  naked. Think pics/vids/audio and/or naughty stories as “naked” emailing
• Emailing, G-chat or Skyping with real names
• Emailing, G-chat or Skyping with real names naked.  Think pics/vids/audio and/or naughty stories as “naked” emailing
• Sexting
• Phone sex
• Touch my body now please k thanks

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (they are attached to people)

Yes, I did put touching on this spectrum. I do start dating in the middle of this story. I was in the middle of getting a divorce and playing online Fantasy Island with PJ the sociopath.  Not only that but remember a lot of  guys want to know where I live and who I really am to gauge if they can actually come touch me for real.  As I progress  through shopping in the crazy train rail yard  this plays out over and over again in variations of angst as infinite as the number of boys I take the eyes locked body shuddering euphoric trip with.   Keeping it to the business of play  was easier with some guys than others and there were missteps along the way.   But no one was a REAL problem until I met PJ and he started to woo me, or rather pretended to be overtaken by how wonderful I was and how into me he was.

Easing into Chat

So when I arrived on a scene for the first time, or later when I would arrive on the scene after an absence, my easing in ritual would always  follow a pattern.    It went something like this and played out over several months or seconds depending on the trip into the rabbit hole.

• Lurk. You absolutely must lurk for even just a quick second. It is always good to take a quick survey of the room and know what you are getting into.
• Lola chatting on the chat roll (I was pretty much always doing this and having PM conversations at the same time
• Lola cam no face (later this was skipped)
• Lola cam no face boobs out.  I often fell back on this one when visiting or trolling public.  If you know anything about my tits, you know they are extremely recognizable if you know what you are looking for. And anybody who needed to know it was really me in public could tell just by looking at my tits.  Guys who hadn’t seen my tits in a GW pic for months on end could tell it was me regardless of what I had named myself for the post based on what my tits look like.   They are incredibly,  humanly,  flawed is all I will say, other than that I love them as I do all parts of my body.  These flaws only seemed to add to their popularity.  Maybe it was because I would talk openly about why they are flawed. I loved them even then for what they are; mine, made by God, shaped by children and scarred by a surgeon.   They are the boobs of a woman, not a girl.  I hadn’t planned on a multi-sentence ode to my boobs, but there ya have it.  Later this was replaced with Lola cam boobs out.
• Lola cam face
• Lola cam  face and boobs out.  This was a guaranteed view about 75% of the time, if you were in chat and I was in chat you could probably see my tits of you waited patiently enough for it to naturally happen)
• Lola cam  more than boobs out  (rare treat) unless you were lucky enough to be getting the private view

This doesn’t speak to what I was or wasn’t in the process of doing while visiting chat.   During round one there was a lot of sexy time but also lots of everyday  boring stuff.   Round two was more about having conversation and exercise ball bouncy dancing with my boobs out.   I feel the urge here  to point out that ever since I had Mini Me and began learning to breast feed her that the joke is that everyone (including the hospital janitors)  has seen my boobs.   A Dr once examine my daughter while she was still attached to my nipple and EATING because she was quiet and calm and we were in the ER and there was no fucking way this dude was going to fuck up my moment of calm and quiet for my daughter.     I am a walk around my room naked girl.  This is probably why PJ spent  many early mornings watching me get ready from waking up in bed and chatting to  showering to dressed and leaving or heading downstairs.  I’ve done  probably everything mundane and everything within the definition of vanilla sex while a web cam was running and at least one person was watching.

GW Chat Relationships

Real life has an infinite level of relationships humans can have with each other. The online world is not different.   The problem is that when two people take themselves online they are bringing their emotions, imagination and all inner parts of them, but not their physical presence or body.    In GW   many to  chose to step out of the computer.  Facebook friending was common, so were meet-ups. Reddit encourages meet ups and Redditors generally really like each other, so there were LOTS of platonic and for sexy play meet-ups that would be either captured in pics and put on  Reddit,  viewed in chat or talked about.    I have said this previously, but I have seen more than 1 or 2 long term relationships born from chat.  The part that gets a little tricky to explain is GW playing relationships are as complex and varied as real life.  You are basically using your imagination to spell out or act out fantasy.  The mind is the largest and most powerful sex organ.  Plus these are sexed up people we are talking about.   How does this  happen?

Let me tell you about how it almost happened to me  next Thursday….