Respect the Run: There is nothing that 5.0 hard miles won’t temporarily fix

Posted: 2012/07/09 | Author: | Filed under: Running | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

My  running buddy girlfriend ( I’ve got to  come up with a nickname for her)  and I completed 5.0 hard miles tonight. It was awesome, amazing, cleansing, renewing, freeing, sweaty hard work and it felt  fantabulous.  I’ve been feeling  broken lately, unhinged with stress and worries.  I picked the  training back up a few weeks ago, but haven’t really had a great run.   There were lots of things contributing to this.  Some I was in control of choosing to change, quitting all smoking of any kind, stopping a prescription drug that was helping me lose weight but wrecking havoc on my system and mood, starting a new prescription drug to assist with the smoking cessation, cravings and my general ability to focus and be productive.  Some not in my control, like the overwhelming heat and occasional humidity.   No matter how hard I tried I  just could not get a run going for any length of time, my pace was just awful.  My  legs were fine, it was my heart and breath.  Which led to lots of walking, and if you have ever done any running of any kind you know that walking only begets more walking.   It is best to slow your run pace down to a crawl, rather than walk, if your goal is to keep run vs walk.  My fast walk is  at the pace of  both Babu and running buddies slow run, but once I start it gets harder and harder to make my  body return to a run stance.

Running buddy is faster than me and I always feel bad when I don’t think I’m taking it as seriously as I should or performing as well as I could,  because someone is slowing down to stay with me and I feel like I owe them my best effort.   I end up over apologizing and  if I’m not careful it becomes a thing.  We worked through that, she is grateful for the partner and the safety and I’ve accepted that she doesn’t care I’m slower.   This has allowed us to get into a rhythm where she can push me and I like it that way.

Tonight we started at 8:30  and ran until after the sun set.  The temp was cooler, there was a breeze and we found that we both were feeling pretty good. So we did one loop without stopping,  in the middle of loop two we decided to go for broke and complete 3 loops.   There was only walking between loops 2 and 3 for a water break. At the end of loop 3 we were about .55 miles away from hitting 5.0 so she pushed us and I agreed to go for the 5.0.  I’ve never wanted  to get to any mile as badly as I did that 5.00.   Suddenly it meant everything to me.   One single triumph in several weeks of stress, failure, doubt, anger, sadness.   I was so excited I was actually doing it, running the whole thing, no stops just like  I knew I was capable of. We got to the end of the football field and we still weren’t there 4.76, so we kept running further along the path before we turned around then we were at 4.95, 96, 99 5.0!!!!   Not only that but we were keeping a roughly 12:30 pace for 5 whole miles.  I’m more than pretty darn stoked!

That 5.o miles is in my top 3  ” I love this run” runs.  Number one still being the 15k  from the training of the last half marathon.    All of my stresses are still around but suddenly they don’t seem to matter as much as they did even earlier in the day.  Running is good for your body AND your mind.

I am roughly 8 weeks from  my next half and I think with the added cross training and weight training it just might end up being my best race ever.  Only time and work and prayers for no more injuries will tell, but I’m off to a great start!

Respect the run; 7 weeks till Rock N Roll Half

Posted: 2012/06/03 | Author: | Filed under: Running | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

On July 22 I’m registered to run the  XSport Fitness Rock ‘n’ Roll Chicago Half Marathon, a mere 7 Sundays away. The hotel is booked and the sitter is arranged. Now all I have to do is run.   I don’t think I’ve ever slammed in training for a race this quickly before. I have been off  the Doctor mandated four weeks and only was a short 2 miler once to test my foot out.  I don’t think it really is/was a sesamoid fracture, but rather  more likely inflammation and flare up.  He also mentioned arthritis so I’m hoping for “old” vs. broken.  This will likely be the last time I hope to be “old”.  The down side to that diagnosis though is the foot/joint is going to be my new potential whiner and fit thrower, not unlike the ticking time bomb of kids on long car trips.  It’s going to try to screw with my mind and my confidence.  Hyperfocus on an injury or body part is not a good part of a run.

The last four weeks have both crawled and flown by.  When I can’t run it’s almost like time stands still so I’m really looking forward to getting back out there this week and seeing how the foot feels.  I’m interested in how bad the first 2 weeks of training are going to suck as I shed my lazy  and recondition my lungs and heart.  My legs have certainly enjoyed the break,  almost 4 weeks of zero muscle soreness has been  quite lovely.   I haven’t been a complete and total sloth; there was gardening, dancing and one trial run,  but I still didn’t do any cross training.  I blame the ADD, it’s a task I wasn’t really all that pumped about, so I just didn’t do it.  Given the short timeline to the next race, play time is definitely over.

There is a new running schedule to negotiate because Babu is supposed to run this one too, but I”m not going to hound him about  training or buying his bib, I need to focus on myself. I’ve got to get my mental crap together so I can push past those last 3-4 miles.  I’ve only got two more races scheduled for this year and I’d like to realize my goal of not walking that last 3 miles sooner rather than later.

I need to focus on my physical strength by adding an extra 1-2 days of either strength, flexibility or cross training is a must. I’ve already got my sights on another round of Yo-Pi, nothing like some downward dog and scissor kicks to tone and lengthen.  There is one school of thought to run 6 days a week, but with less miles on the short days, I may look into that if only to keep it a part of almost every day, and maybe shed some more weight while I am at it.

A training plan must be documented and followed, or I will skip runs from laziness or bad planning.

I have to eat cleaner, drink more water, get enough sleep, take my vitamins.

I need to be gentle, yet firm with myself.

Things are getting full of chaos at the office, and I may be spending the whole summer  working remote at home. This  means I can run in the morning at a reasonable hour and don’t have to commute or be pretty for my first round of meetings.

My running posts may get more boring and technical as I plan to really analyze and look critically at my diet and training and how it affects my performance,  I think this means I can  feel like a ‘real” runner now, maybe?

We’ll see 🙂

 

Respect the Run: Getting to 500

Posted: 2012/05/08 | Author: | Filed under: Running | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday Lovies.  I ran the One America 500 Festival Mini Marathon last weekend on Saturday in temps above 70 and  90% humidity, it was great and it sucked all at the same time.  Pretty sums up any 13.1 run right?   According to Runkeeper the race pushed me over the 500 miles run mark since I started running in November of 2010.

Race Recap

The One America 500 Festival Mini Marathon is the nations largest Mini capping entrants at 35,000 each year.  It is held in downtown Indianapolis, Indiana as part of the month long festivities for the Indy 500 and part of the lure of this course it the privilege of walking on the track for 2.5+ miles of the race.  I can only liken it to running in a 3 ring circus or festival.  There are bands at regular intervals all along the course and spectators are plentiful  throughout the course as well.    There are so many walkers and runners that you are always moving in a mass of people.  The line of those currently on the course stretches for miles, the starting corrals go from a-z and stretch for blocks  past the official start gate.  There are TV crews, the water stops are manned with giant crews of people, in short it is huge.

I was nervous about this race for the entire week. I had no idea how my legs, foot, hips were going to cooperate.  The forecast of heat, humidity and possible thunderstorms was freaking me out.  I’d (still) really like to have a half marathon where I run the entire thing with only walking at the rest stops.   I seem to  lose it in the last 3 or so miles every time when my mental and physical strength are low.  I made sure to hydrate and get outside to get acclimated in the days leading to the race.  Babu and I got plenty of relaxation and sleep, we got up on time  and  I noticed I felt pretty good.  I took a trip to the Chiro the Monday before the race for an hour deep tissue  and adjustment tune up.  I’m going to do this before every big race now because I think it really helped.   Saturday morning when I got up I was able to dress and walk around with zero pain or tightness.  I can’t tell you how long it has been since I had a morning like that.  The early morning was plenty cool and comfortable.  I knew it would be closer to 80 by the time we hit the last hour of our run, but I was counting on adrenaline for the end and the bling to get me by. We crossed the gate at exactly 23:23 in and I took that as a little sign. We started running and I felt GREAT! Like giddy great. I could breathe,  I wasn’t sore, the foot stopped hurting in the first 5 minutes.  This is the run start feeling I have been craving and missing for the last 2 months of training.  Before mile 2 I had sweat dripping off my arms, my first indication that it was humid in spite of missing that chewing your air feeling that comes in July.  We stopped at every water stop and in the beginning I mostly did the swish and spit, take a few small sips, then pour the rest on my wrists and hands trick.  One stop I put half the glass on my head.  I learned not do do that do much though or by the end my running skirt weighs about 5 pounds.   I ate my Sport Beans before we got into the track and wished I didn’t make that pit stop to pee when we got in. It cost me about 5 minutes and I don’t even think I had to go that bad.  Discovering my running skirt felt like an extremely wet swim suit of sweat was my confirmation that it was really humid.   The thing was in spite of the humidity we were keeping a sub 13 pace.   I even got high!  The  rush started at mile 3 and took me all the way to about mile 9.  Right before mile 9 we came out of the track.  I didn’t notice any big difference in weather or terrain. My legs still felt great, my foot still felt good, my attitude was in check.  We were only 4 miles from the end.  I  spent the first 9.5 or so miles feeling like the race was going great and it was pretty easy to do. At this point I even started cautiously calculating if we could make my goal of 2:45.  Out of the blue it seemed like it got really hard.   Not muscle hard, they were tired but no pain, I had no worries about my legs or foot making it the whole way.  I could still breathe, my mouth stayed wet, my heart rate was nice and steady. In truth if the weather had been different I could of pushed all of those things harder and I wanted to. But in order to force your body to make that leap you have to have either physical or mental boosting. You have to trick your body into giving you more, because it really doesn’t want to.     We didn’t get the 2nd package of beans onto our race gear so I didn’t have anything for a boost. Next time I’ll  make sure we have enough for me to take them at 6 and 9.  My ear buds were toast from running under every mist station they provided and I couldn’t get a music boost.   I have the worst wear bud luck at races. I noticed that in spite of the increased heat of the later time I was sweating less.  I started to get paranoid about feeling light headed.  I wanted to finish more than I wanted to finish at a 12:45.  I have 2 more races to run this season.  So I started walking.  When I noticed the feeling go away I’d start running again. this went on for another mile or 2 and it got harder and harder to run.  I made the call that we were walking to  mile 12 and running as much as the last 1.1 as we could.  Every mile from 10 on  our pace climbed higher, but I still felt great. I just could not for the life of me get a run going and maintained.  Those first 9+ miles were some of the strongest I’ve run in my life.   I wish I’d talked myself into trying harder to keep running at 10 and see how long it took to push through.

Babu isn’t good at giving me a mental boost during running.   He just kind of goes along with whatever I say I am doing.   He sometimes tells me to back off if I am spurting too much and that often annoys me, even though he is right.   He doesn’t push me too much to keep going and working through things when I want to back off.  He won’t do it just because I say it, he will wait until I actually do it and follow. he figures it isn’t his job to get in my head and make me push through. This is where girl running buddies are amazing.   We understand our mental run battles, and how to gently push and distract each other.  Babu doesn’t have this skill and he isn’t going to magically get it, he can’t grow it.  I’ll have to focus on my mental state those last 3-4 miles. I think  recognizing it is the first step because I think I could of run those last 4 miles at a sub 13 pace in spite of the weather.    It’s not like I haven’t had practice  pushing through, I took 2+ months training myself to run on tight legs for 4 miles.

We finished at 3:03 and I was a sopping, wet, stinky, super hot mess. But I  still looked good with my shiny new medal!   I feel much better knowing it was the slowest Mini in 20 years and finding out post race that  they put a yellow flag on the course at 10:15 am.   One day I will run an entire  Half and get that 2:45.  I am dreaming of a 2:15 some day, maybe in my 50’s!

My legs  are run ready this morning.   But my foot is not. I went to a new sports doc, I hate him and will be giving  him a little come to Lola talk on my follow up before deciding to part ways for good,  because my left foot finally cried uncle after the race.  It’s the same place I’ve been keeping an eye on since February.   Now don’t get all new sports doc on me.   When it hurt it stopped within 5 minutes, it didn’t start hurting after runs until the 10 miler and it was always pain free by the next run.  But yes I knew this was coming. I just hoped it would hold off until after the Mini, giving me time for 4 weeks in a boot and 6 weeks to train for the Rock N Rock Half Marathon in Chicago.  Turns out I have arthritis, bring on the old lady jokes. I also have an inflamed node and/or a Sesamoid  fracture. New sports Doc emphatically states if it is a  Sesamoid fracture I won’t be running in 10 weeks either.   If that is the case I’m transferring my Rock N Roll Bib to Babu who hasn’t registered yet and going to cheer him on.   I’m bummed about the injury, but it isn’t the same end of the world that it was last year.  I hate the boot, it really sucks for many reasons. But I will wear it and heal and try to concentrate on staying active in spite of it. New sports Doc says  no running for 4 weeks but I can do anything else as pain allows.  I got a stern warning about if it hurts during or after I’m not to do it.  I will be good, promise.  I have 2 more races to run this year!

 

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Respect the Run: Convincing my id it will all be ok..1 week till Race #1

Posted: 2012/04/28 | Author: | Filed under: Running | Tags: , | 2 Comments

I drug my very tired butt of of a very warm bed in the cold and drizzle this morning to do yoga and follow that up with a 45 minute run.  By the end of the run  my hat was merely a gutter and my shoes felt 20 squishy pounds each.  I failed to wear gloves and my fingers were so cold they were beyond numb to hurt ache frozen.   It took them at least 10 minutes inside a towel to start to feel almost normal again.  I was glad I threw on tights and a grey short sleeve 3O Bomb Squad tee over the long sleeve white tech shirt.  I taped up the ear speaker on my Iphone and set the runkeeper. our group was very small this morning, Babu didn’t come for yoga and didn’t catch us until about 20 minutes into the 45 minute run.

I’ve been going through a lot of mental stuff lately.  MiniMe has ADHD and we are looking into reviewing the state of  The Destroyer as well.  The skinny of it for this post is I am about 80% certain I have ADHD as well.   I’m not going into all the details in this post but SO  MANY THINGS make sense to me now.  Things about myself, how my brain works, why I am who I am, the way I am. How that presents in both my daughter and my son.  I’ve been thinking back through my life and applying this new ADHD filter in order to provide a self validation test.  There is a lot of chaos in our lives right now, but I have had a string of epiphanies in the last several weeks.  I have managed to write about exactly 1 of them.  Also another post, but I’m going to give away the end because I am about to talk about it here, now.

I have this crazy little girl version of me inside.  I think we all do. Maybe it is just the only way I can think to describe an avatar for all those pieces of me that are weak, broken, shamed, sad, fearful, hating, apathetic.  It’s the manifestation of all my beautiful and wonderfully unique and raw flaws.  It’s maybe even a third to half  of my id?  Pardon me psych gurus if I’m screwing that up , but I’m running with it.    Not too long ago mine went  on a crazy train ride that ended in a glorious wreck.  It wasn’t an easy road back and the end result of all the work and rebuilding is a glorious life that I get to craft however I choose.   The thing I realized very recently is that I need to baby my id a little right now.   She’s been through a lot and I spent all my effort on healing and changing  the screwed up  parts of  her so I could heal and change me.   Working on myself, blah blah blah, yes we have been here many times before.   It is a message I won’t stop preaching  because when you do it you start to love and accept yourself.   You  gain even more courage to fearlessly be yourself. Just You, in all your fucked up glory with  a smile of a life you are  owning on your face.  Only lately I haven’t been  doing a very good job of owning running.  I’ve allowed my confidence to slip. The mental work outs on some of my recent runs have been brutal.  The mental work outs on most of my runs since roughly March 3rd have been harder than I  prefer.  Today during yoga I hatched a different plan.

I love yoga, and I used to take this yo-pi class every Wednesday night for about 12-18 weeks right when  my id was contemplating having that mid-life crisis.  When I’d lie there in the last pose and just close my eyes and meditate I’d picture all  the bad stuff leaving my entire soul and body as black gooey stuff.  Kind of like that  stuff that Venom is made of.  Back then there was a lot of it on my mind. This morning I realized I didn’t have any.  I  used that to capture a zen  place where I could use the run to convince that little voice in my head trying to tell me I can’t ; not that it is lying, but that it will all be ok and we can do this.  I like the kicking your own ass angry motivational method.  But I’ve been using it a lot with all of the issues this year and it’s getting counterproductive.  So today, in the cold with drizzle that turned to full on storm by the time we finished, I spent the time telling myself everything would be just fine, we can do this, see your foot doesn’t hurt 5 minutes in to this run you weren’t crazy last week. I supported me instead of drill instructed me.  It was the perfect run for it too, nasty weather, frozen body parts, wet gear, windy. All things that make it even worse to conquer and  make me feel even more badass when I do.    Now I’m not afraid of  this season’s first race anymore.  I just have 7 more days to continue convincing my id will it all be ok so I can tell it it’s lying on  Race Day in mile 10.

Respect the Run: I have running blue balls

Posted: 2012/04/26 | Author: | Filed under: Running | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

 

I had to/chose to bail 5 minutes into my 8 mile run last night.  My left foot hurt from the first step, and even though it does it sometimes at the beginning of every run it usually goes away, doesn’t bother me for the rest of the run and I have minimal pain afterward.   This is in fact the same foot injury that I swore many weeks ago I would go see Dr. hate for, but never did.  It is also the same foot that hurt for a few days after last week’s 12 miles.  I’m babying it while we are in taper.  I have also not gone to a sports doc about my chronic muscle weakness.  I have a race to run in less than 10 days; forecast is 73 and possible rain, I don’t want to miss.  The next race isn’t until July 22 and if I have a boot or other some such nonsense I will have the luxury of the time to do that and still train for the Rock N Roll.   I managed to get through all of Monday’s very windy 4.0 with no pain and no walking.  My muscles actually felt pretty good yesterday. I ate well, I stretched, I hydrated. I drank my Herbalife Prolong and I packed my cherry extreme sport beans.  I felt emotionally great and ready to run.  I bailed 2 miles into the last 8.0 b/c of muscle and joint soreness. I was going to conquer this 8.0.  In spite of the rain and potential for thunderstorms I was ready and excited for this run.  I needed to enjoy this run.  When I got hyper-focused on my foot pain and made the must be very careful so close to race day and bail decision I had a pretty steady heart rate going.  I wasn’t pissed at myself or disappointed in myself so much as let down that yet another run didn’t pan out.  I was dressed, I was lubed, I put in my part of the  deal why couldn’t my foot cooperate.  As I drove home  not sweaty, spent and proud I had this sort of epiphany that it was like getting all of the foreplay and none of the fun.  I haven’t had a high fiver at the end running high endorphin rush badass pace run in a while.  My confidence is waning because I’m not enjoying running as much this year. Not being able to enjoy it is causing frustration and that frustration further erodes my  mental state on runs.   I have running blue balls! I need a  good hard running O!

You may be wondering why the hell anyone would ever use running and O in the same sentence.  Running is actually not just enjoyable when it is over.  It is often enjoyable during if you can achieve the runner high.  The Runner’s high is a wonderful release of endorphins into your body that trick it into thinking it feels no pain.  It’s hard to explain but I  got them on the treadmill all the time and quite often during last running season.  This year not so much, and maybe that is why I’m not enjoying this year as much, but I am digressing.  It’s when you mind and body take to you this beautiful badass running place.  You can breathe, your heart is steady but pushing it, your body feels loose and everything is at the perfect temperature,  It takes a while to get the running high.  It depends on how it takes your body and mind to release and settle into the running, to connect with it.  Oh once I do I first notice it is a pretty great day for running, then I notice everything on my body seems to be cooperating, then I notice that my splits are steady, then  I start to feel it, it’s like this little ball of achy tension starting to become focused on by my body, It’s almost like all the other parts are strong and start to send their energy up to the spot at the middle of my shoulders, it’s a good ache and it signals the imminent nature of the impending release. This sweet state of running nirvana or my runner’s O  carries me through a few more miles before the  fatigue of running for hours at a time sets in.  On a longer run the high can carry me through miles 5,6 and 7, maybe 8 and 9 with Extreme Cherry Sport Bean  consumption.  On the shorter  runs I hope to get it before mile 2 but it often eludes me until mile 3 or 4. The most I have hoped for lately is to find my knees and just get started into the syncing process when the run is almost over and I’m not going to get through the full O.  I’m not getting to,  foxtrot uniform charlie kilo yeah that was awesome we rocked that high  five after O.  I finally found the source of my frustration!

Unfortunately running isn’t Babu so the responsibility to get my run O on and have the high five moment at the end of my runs is solely resting on me.  It is my job to get myself off while running. I will not make any; good at fapping, jokes, promise. I have ability to control/affect my physical state but the rest is always a crap shoot.  The brain is the most powerful sex organ our bodies possess.  I’m probably still going to run feisty, grumpy, pissed, and stubborn because motivation springs from many places. Where my head is at is more than half the battle so I need to find a way to ease this frustration and re-align my confidence.   So I put on the BGP and listed out some logical points, nothing like logic to get a girl going.

  • It is still early in running season, there are many more highs to come.
  • It could be that my body has adjusted to the running and the highs are coming later, if I’m that desperate for it I can start putting in longer short runs after May
  • I can and will finish next Saturday, in the end my motivation for any race outside of the bragging rights and pride is the bling and I’ll get that medal
  • Sport doc for check up after Mini, still plenty of time to train for Jul 22 if there are 4 weeks of recovery, will make appointment now in prep
  • Massage and chiro on Monday to stretch well before Saturday
  • Massage and chiro on Monday after race for reward
  • Just Breathe!!!

 

 

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