Respect the Run: I have running blue balls

I had to/chose to bail 5 minutes into my 8 mile run last night.  My left foot hurt from the first step, and even though it does it sometimes at the beginning of every run it usually goes away, doesn’t bother me for the rest of the run and I have minimal pain afterward.   This is in fact the same foot injury that I swore many weeks ago I would go see Dr. hate for, but never did.  It is also the same foot that hurt for a few days after last week’s 12 miles.  I’m babying it while we are in taper.  I have also not gone to a sports doc about my chronic muscle weakness.  I have a race to run in less than 10 days; forecast is 73 and possible rain, I don’t want to miss.  The next race isn’t until July 22 and if I have a boot or other some such nonsense I will have the luxury of the time to do that and still train for the Rock N Roll.   I managed to get through all of Monday’s very windy 4.0 with no pain and no walking.  My muscles actually felt pretty good yesterday. I ate well, I stretched, I hydrated. I drank my Herbalife Prolong and I packed my cherry extreme sport beans.  I felt emotionally great and ready to run.  I bailed 2 miles into the last 8.0 b/c of muscle and joint soreness. I was going to conquer this 8.0.  In spite of the rain and potential for thunderstorms I was ready and excited for this run.  I needed to enjoy this run.  When I got hyper-focused on my foot pain and made the must be very careful so close to race day and bail decision I had a pretty steady heart rate going.  I wasn’t pissed at myself or disappointed in myself so much as let down that yet another run didn’t pan out.  I was dressed, I was lubed, I put in my part of the  deal why couldn’t my foot cooperate.  As I drove home  not sweaty, spent and proud I had this sort of epiphany that it was like getting all of the foreplay and none of the fun.  I haven’t had a high fiver at the end running high endorphin rush badass pace run in a while.  My confidence is waning because I’m not enjoying running as much this year. Not being able to enjoy it is causing frustration and that frustration further erodes my  mental state on runs.   I have running blue balls! I need a  good hard running O!

You may be wondering why the hell anyone would ever use running and O in the same sentence.  Running is actually not just enjoyable when it is over.  It is often enjoyable during if you can achieve the runner high.  The Runner’s high is a wonderful release of endorphins into your body that trick it into thinking it feels no pain.  It’s hard to explain but I  got them on the treadmill all the time and quite often during last running season.  This year not so much, and maybe that is why I’m not enjoying this year as much, but I am digressing.  It’s when you mind and body take to you this beautiful badass running place.  You can breathe, your heart is steady but pushing it, your body feels loose and everything is at the perfect temperature,  It takes a while to get the running high.  It depends on how it takes your body and mind to release and settle into the running, to connect with it.  Oh once I do I first notice it is a pretty great day for running, then I notice everything on my body seems to be cooperating, then I notice that my splits are steady, then  I start to feel it, it’s like this little ball of achy tension starting to become focused on by my body, It’s almost like all the other parts are strong and start to send their energy up to the spot at the middle of my shoulders, it’s a good ache and it signals the imminent nature of the impending release. This sweet state of running nirvana or my runner’s O  carries me through a few more miles before the  fatigue of running for hours at a time sets in.  On a longer run the high can carry me through miles 5,6 and 7, maybe 8 and 9 with Extreme Cherry Sport Bean  consumption.  On the shorter  runs I hope to get it before mile 2 but it often eludes me until mile 3 or 4. The most I have hoped for lately is to find my knees and just get started into the syncing process when the run is almost over and I’m not going to get through the full O.  I’m not getting to,  foxtrot uniform charlie kilo yeah that was awesome we rocked that high  five after O.  I finally found the source of my frustration!

Unfortunately running isn’t Babu so the responsibility to get my run O on and have the high five moment at the end of my runs is solely resting on me.  It is my job to get myself off while running. I will not make any; good at fapping, jokes, promise. I have ability to control/affect my physical state but the rest is always a crap shoot.  The brain is the most powerful sex organ our bodies possess.  I’m probably still going to run feisty, grumpy, pissed, and stubborn because motivation springs from many places. Where my head is at is more than half the battle so I need to find a way to ease this frustration and re-align my confidence.   So I put on the BGP and listed out some logical points, nothing like logic to get a girl going.

• It is still early in running season, there are many more highs to come.
• It could be that my body has adjusted to the running and the highs are coming later, if I’m that desperate for it I can start putting in longer short runs after May
• I can and will finish next Saturday, in the end my motivation for any race outside of the bragging rights and pride is the bling and I’ll get that medal
• Sport doc for check up after Mini, still plenty of time to train for Jul 22 if there are 4 weeks of recovery, will make appointment now in prep
• Massage and chiro on Monday to stretch well before Saturday
• Massage and chiro on Monday after race for reward
• Just Breathe!!!