I’m terrified and I have a wish

Happy Hump Day Lovies. I have a confession. I’m scared, terrified, overwhelmed, frozen in fear and having difficulty embracing it. Last week I parted ways with my  job and after 13+ years I am free of an employer.  I feel like my career had a mid life fling  or a rebound job that was supposed to go up in flames and leave me all ready Phoenix like to rise to the next thing.  But just what should/could/would that be exactly? I. Have. No. Idea…

Well actually that isn’t entirely true I have a gazillion ideas, of which I’m an expert in roughly 1% of them and have the slightest idea how to execute roughly 10% of them.

I feel lonely, tired, and often pointless in this Mom, wife, career, friend, insert adjective here life I’m trying to create. I know I can’t be the only one who feels this way yet we seem to mired in this culture where sharing of struggles, fear, failure, disaster is not “ok” to experience, or share.  I want to know why not?

Why not?

So my best guess is maybe you’re afraid too, maybe you’d like to see a little more, oh thank GOD I’m not alone, in your life.

I’m going first to stand up and say , I’m trying to be as awesome as I can but dang it life is hard and wouldn’t it be great if we could all be fearless together?

That’s my wish, let’s open up to each other, give ourselves a pat on the back, apply the BGP principles with a spirit of adventure, love and honesty.

Figure out together how to let go of the fear holding us back from being whatever we want to be when we grow up, or whatever we want to be in the next hour for that matter.

I cannot promise how good I will be at this. I am not an eloquent writer, I don’t know squat about properly using hashtags, or twitter, and I am always a little terrified at self promotion for fear of I’m not even sure what, I just am.

But here is what I do know. No one knows what they are doing in everything all the time, and every one of us has something beautiful and amazing to give. I think my thing to give might be helping others see how  strong, beautiful and amazing they are, to help them let go of fear and embrace all the disasters and adventures life brings. To recognize what loving yourself looks like so we can all do it more often.

I’ve  been referring my “unemployment”  as sabbatical, maternity leave and retirement….see…. totally struggling to figure this out 🙂 

What are you struggling to figure out? Where does the fear live in in your life?

You are amazing and wonderful.

Laura