My boss tried to get me to take one for the team aka the Steakhouse Story

OK I realize it is late in the day on Tuesday and I am behind on my regular publishing.   I have Thursdays covered for many weeks to come and I am still working on the story. It’s been an amazing journey so far reconnecting with my memories and telling these stories.  I hope you are enjoying them and I very much appreciate the support that is being shared for this project.  This morning I was delayed b/c I had a long overdue apology to write and send to a boy whose heart I stomped on during the GW journey.  So there is peace in my heart now and I can move on to something more light hearted.

I was in my mid 20’s and had been working at my job for about 3ish years. I had gained several promotions during that time and was working in client retention and helping with client acquisition a bit.  My area was the entire Northeast, an area I was well suited for because quite frankly at this time in my life I am a bitch but I will also go way past the extra mile to get what needs to be done, done.  .  I was young, single-ish, cute, at the top of my game at work, had a great male boss I got along well with and had hand picked me for this job.  I am also the only  woman at this time to hold this job, the rest are dudes.

I worked for the group that managed and fulfilled the orders our reps sold. This was computer hardware/software/services and I had managed a very very large client as their account manger before being promoted.  I also had several smaller accounts from time to time and had already earned a reputation for telling the reps what’s what.  It really pissed me off when they would make promises without checking with me or flat out lie to the customer and then leave my group (me) to make this magic happen for them.  A lot of our reps were men who liked to metaphorically beat their chests on the conference room table and get their dicks out to show how big and important they were. I don’t put up with that shit.  I had long ago learned how to cut a man down to size when he needs it, and I did it often at work, usually with foul language as a part of the deal.  I don’t care if you were a rep or a branch manager, being a douche with me will get you absolutely nowhere.  I cussed so much at work I was moved down a cube row from one end to the other so my current boss didn’t have to hear it. But no one asked me to stop.  I got results.  I flourished and grew to be very comfortable in my new role.

This is also about the time of the South Carolina/North Carolina story I haven’t told yet.  In a nutshell, I had recently ended a 2.5 year long term relationship with Mick, moved out of his home into my own apartment and had been dating the rep from South Carolina whose accounts I’d had for the years prior to my promotion.   It was recently over, it hadn’t lasted long, I hadn’t been faithful and it hadn’t gone well. But I was still pretty broken up about it. I think it must have been my rebound relationship. I have SOOO many stories from this place. This was a party place, in a time when the industry was flush with cash and corporations were spending.

So we have the stage set.

One nice spring day at work the boss calls me into his office and tells me we have big clients in town touring our config and shipping facility.   I think it was a Boston account and I had long been golden with the Boss of the Boston branch.  His #2 is here with the potential customer and we apparently REALLY want this business.  They are here for 2 days and tonight they are being taken to an expensive steakhouse in our city. Tomorrow they are to have a day full of presentations at the DC and I am to be present for both to represent what our group can do for this customer.  The oldest steakhouse in the city with a wine cellar in the basement, fresh horseradish root ground copiously into the shrimp cocktail sauce and cigars for important patrons.   I am informed I am going to dinner with the group.  But first we must all go have free cocktails at happy hour at the Embassy Suites with the customer.  There are 9 of us total and I’m not sure I can remember the exact make-up but I’m gonna try.  2 from the DC; the big DC boss and a woman rep of some sort.  2 from the Boston branch; the #2  boss and another dude rep I know and have worked with.  2 from my area; My boss and I, and maybe 3 customers.  Mr. Big, the Quiet Guy and someone else I cannot remember.    The main players in this story are Me, Mr. Big and #2 from Boston and my Boss.

So…… the boss and I go to Embassy Suites and we all commence to drinking. Some how I get assigned to drive one of the customers to the steakhouse, I later learned he had requested this.  Mr. Big is in his 40’s or 50’s to my 25 or so.  I put him in my two door 5-speed Honda Civic and drive him down to the steakhouse.  We talk along the way and most of it is about business and I can tell he thinks his shit doesn’t stink. He is one of those douche bags that will allow a rep to woo and woo him and then not give him the business.  He is every bit of out to see what he can get from this evening.  And that’s ok, that’s the nature of the game. I’m just glad I get to eat an awesome steak dinner even though my poor dog isn’t going to get let out until I get home and I’ve been gone since 7AM.  How long can one dinner take anyway, I should be home by 9 tops.

We arrive at the Steakhouse and maybe 7-7:30. We are all seated in a room with glass French doors that close and then lots of stuff starts happening.  For starters a magnum of expensive red wine is ordered.  I know there are 9 of us but a MAGNUM????  We all order shrimp cocktail, b/c you HAVE to if you go there. You just HAVE to.   The conversation is about business. I am seated with #2 to my left, my Boss to my right and Mr. Big across the table from me.  That evening goes on and on and on.  I get a private tour of the wine cellar from the Wine and Beverage Manager and he gives me not only his business card, but also an official cigar cutter from the restaurant. Oh I forgot to tell you, I smoked cigars then. Yep I learned about and started smoking cigars for the SC ex. I enjoyed it and knew my way around and apparently lots of dudes think chicks smoking cigars is uber hot.   Salads and steaks and sides are ordered. And so is another MAGNUM of expensive red wine.  We are all getting drunk and Mr. Big is getting really cocky.  About 2/3 of the way through the evening Mr. Big is going on and on about what he wants.  Something about one of the Magnum bottles he is holding it and running his mouth and he’s got his dick out and he needs to be put in check. None of these guys at the table are going to do it,   But I look him dead in the eye in front of everyone and I say….”Mr. Big’s first name, people in hell want ice water”.  A phrase my  Dad taught me.  There is dead silence for about a millisecond as Mr. Big looks very shocked, then he starts laughing and behaves himself for the rest of the night. Which goes on until midnight and has shenanigans like  the restaurant  closing our room door and letting us smoke cigars we pick out and purchase as part of this dinner and staying open at least an hour past close.  I have also been making friends with all the cute boy waiters throughout the meal and at some point they bring a GIANT fresh horseradish root on a plate as a joke.  We are all lit and we are having a great time.

And then the bill comes. It’s delivered to #2 who is sitting on my left and it is $1900.00 before tip!  #2 is shitting bricks. He knows #1 will approve it, but he is shocked and also trying to figure out the tip. I tell him he has to tip $400. We have a very lengthy head to head conversation about this bill. We have literally been waited on by a cadre of boys all night long.  We have been given very special treatment.  The bill is there and he has no choice.  He tips bringing the total to $2300 for 9 people to eat, drink and smoke cigars.  He is literally shaking when he is signing that slip and I feel bad for him. Times are flush but this is excessive even for that.

Later I am home and in bed. It’s like 3:00 am and I’m on the phone with SC having a why don’t you love me conversation when the line beeps.  I’m like WTF, but I answer it and it’s my Boss who hands the phone to Mr. Big.

HE WANTS TO KNOW IF HE CAN COME OVER!!!!!!!!!!

Yes lovies, I’m getting a booty call at 3am from a customer, and it’s my boss that made the phone call.  No, Mr. Big you can’t come over I tell him.  Don’t get me wrong, I had slept with 2-3 different reps by this point, and inter-office sex and dating and marriage was practically encouraged at this place. But no I’m not having sex with Mr. Big so we can win this account.  And barring that, tomorrow is going to be AWKWARD for everyone now. I click back over to SC and share this story, SC is a rep for us remember and knows how these things can go.

I go into the office the next morning to discover I won’t be going to the DC to meet with the customer, no shit. Looking at me all day isn’t going to do much for Mr. Big’s ego.  I go into my Boss’ office and I’m like WTF Sluggo, you’re pimping me out now. He tells me the rest of the story.  After dinner Mr. Big demanded to be taken to strip clubs. So my Boss, the Boston rep, and a few others go.  On the way home from said strip club Mr. Big won’t SFTU about me. He is demanding that my Boss call me and hook us up.  My Boss cannot tell Mr. Big to put his dick away and shut up, although he should of,  and concedes to calling me on his own phone and handing it over, so Mr. Big can do the rest.  It didn’t go as he wanted and I am to be kept out of the way so Mr. Big is not embarrassed.

Ahh good times…..