Closer to Lola is 1 Year old today!Posted: 2012/06/10
Closer to Lola is 1 year old today. Thank you for reading it 13,067 times in the last year. When I took the plunge and wrote my first post one year ago I had no idea where the blog would take me. I spent the two weeks prior to hitting the publish button for the first time getting this whole thing straight in my head. I wasn’t thinking about what I would write, I knew I had to get Paul’s poison out of me. I had to figure out the logistics and analyze the potential social and other repercussions that would surely come as backlash for having the fucking audacity to stand up loudly and scream I will not be shamed you bitches. I knew it was time to let go of my own shame and finally forgive myself and once I did, voila. Closer to Lola was born. Yeah, I did that, here is what I learned and here is how it felt and to some degree here is why I did it. Here is what might help you if you get yourself into something like this. Before I even came up with a name for it, or chose a publishing platform, or picked that first theme on WordPress, I had to be absolutely certain that I could write a blog for the right reasons and with the right balance and with the right tone. I had to sort it all out with myself in my head and then I had to approach Babu with the plan and ensure that he was fully on board. I applied the principles of Project Management to starting this blog and made sure I was comfortable and square with myself before I ever even started.
I have a mission here, to show you all to fearlessly be yourself. I don’t write to get famous or syndicated. I don’t play the blogger leave a ton of comments and chain letter award each other game. Mostly because I’ve never received one, I don’t know if my tune would change if it ever happened. I imagine it would and pretty quickly, but having a huge famous blog has never been my goal. I appreciate each and every lurker, searcher, and reader that comes here. I am flattered every day that people actually read this thing, my only intent is to put myself out there, to allow you closer to me. To love, laugh, ponder, grow, vent, teach, heal and share. I enjoy writing and I absolutely enjoy every day someone deems it worthy enough to read it.
I started writing for one simple reason, I wanted to get the poison of Paul out of me and come to a landing place on that part of my life. It wasn’t always fun or easy but it was so rewarding and helpful and I’m so glad I did it. Those of you that read it as I wrote it, one intense, raw, funny and heartbreaking post at a time got to see all of that play out as it happened. I’m so grateful you cared enough about me or were interested enough in the story to stay. I’m thankful for all of the gw’ers that reinforced my belief that my detailed descriptions of gone wild and chat were are spot on. The men and women who reached out and said I’m so sorry that happened to you, that it crazy stuff, I had no idea, I’m so proud of you etc.. I’m thankful for friends who gave me feedback and encouragement, I never once thought about stopping what I was doing, but in times of others strongly suggesting with their words and actions that maybe I should stood, by me anyway. Closer to Lola is celebrating turning one today because of all of you. It is just a little blog, but I’m proud of it and I’m glad you like it too.
Recently while finally venting out loud all at once about my work situation it became clear to me that having a plan and goals are important. My plan for the blog is this, I’ll write when I get the urge because I enjoy it, but there won’t be any kind of promised schedule. I chose twice a week in the beginning because I knew once a week would be AD stuff and I wanted to be sure there was at least one post a week completely unrelated to all of that glorious train wreck. It was a buffer for you and a sanity saver for me. That journey is long over so I don’t feel that buffer is needed any longer.
Whoever you are, where ever you are, I hope this post finds you better than you were a year ago today! I hope you’ll still be with me when Closer to Lola turns two.