Almost Divorce Part 32- The best $13 I ever spent, proving PJ is lying.

This series is  published no less than once a week on Thursday’s.  Or you can start at the beginning here

A timeline can be found here.

Sunday night arrives and I’m finally able to get out of bed for more than a few minutes.  I notice that I miss him less and less with the limited contact we have.  I quit smoking the week prior, something he hates that I do and he has declared as his first project once he is “here”.  I’ll quit when you show up is what I always told him.  I decided to just go ahead and do it on my own.  I know he is back at school,  he is still pretending that its BSU, but I’ve been searching the database daily and he isn’t showing up.  If he is there he isn’t enrolled in classes.  All I want to do is get over him and have my heart back,  I still don’t know if I want to put my family back together. It seems easier to simply proceed with the plan at this point. All wheels are in motion for my divorce to be final by the 28th, it is the 22nd.  I’ve got 6 days to get the final changes we have discussed into the Divorce Decree, have him meet me at a bank to get it notarized, then all I have to do is drop it off at the courthouse anytime after the 28th and within a few days or so I will be divorced.    After I put the kids in bed the big wet rolling can’t stop crying tears come.  My stomach hurts, my head hurts, and sleep is only gained from glorious drugs and  exhaustion from being sick.

Monday the 23rd comes.   In the morning he is green on g-chat but not talking to me, I realize I told him not to, but still it pissed me off.   I remember sitting there and using my two fingers to pretend to squish his little green light between them like a bug, wishing it was his head.   Later than day he emails me, hope you had a good weekend and are keeping up with the quitting.   I resist the urge to reply then he chat me and I cave but not much is said.  It sucks being in a place where you know shit is about to get very real and all you can do is buckle in for the ride.  I had no idea the  crash I was in for within a few short days.

Tuesday the 24th comes, I have plans to meet the husband at the bank on Wednesday at noon to sign the final papers.   I respond shortly to his email  I did. I am. Are you enrolled in school?   At this point he has to know the noose is closing around his neck.   I don’t hear back until later in the day and I use my day wisely.  I check the BSU database again and he isn’t there. So I call the school. The current year’s info isn’t reported to The National Student Clearinghouse’s Degree Verify yet and so I get the registrar guy to do some manual look ups for me.  I have a first name, middle name,  last name, DOB, years he should of been there and what he is supposedly studying. The guy spends some time on the phone with me but comes up with nothing. Nobody with that last name at all. A few with the first name but no last name match. I  decide it is time to tighten the belt on the BGP and I put two inquiries into Degree Verify, one for Notre Dame as undergrad and one to Ball State University for grad school.   $6.50 per inquiry and the best $13 I ever spent. Why didn’t I think of this much,  much sooner I don’t know, I was in a haze of love struck stupidity and obstinate hanging on.   all I can do now is wait and see what happens, it is out of my control. I have God on my side so I know whatever happens I will be ok, and I already knew what the answer was going to be in my heart. I also knew HE was never going to tell me he was lying.  I had no concept of the far reaching consequences discovering this lie would have on my soul, but I knew I was ready for whatever.  I was in battle form, bring it mother fucker.  He replies to me email on Tuesday night that not yet I’m sitting in on some classes this week to see what I want to do.   Uhhuh, sure you are. I see red, give it about 4 minutes and respond.  Trying out a few classes my ass, how stupid does he think I still am? You do realize how bad that looks.  Why don’t you not contact me again util you have your shit toegther. And once upon a time when that happens you can do so by verifying your identity in a concrete way. I really don’t think that is too unreasonable on my part at this point in the game. Good luck on your journey. 

I am feeling strong and confident, almost smug even.  I may have finally won this game. This sick little twisted game I’d been a willing participant in for almost 5 months.   I wake up on Wednesday with plans to head to the bank at noon, then the Notre Dame results come in first at 10:11am, an excerpt.

Status: Unable to confirm by the  information you provided

Because the information you provided did not match any records in our database, we asked the school to research your request. The school was unable to locate  either a degree or enrollment record for the subject of your verification request. 

I feel shock, awe, incredulity, anger.  I am simply shell shocked and stupefied. I call The Husband and give him the news, I tell him I am not up to the bank today, I need to figure out WTF is going on and I am waiting for  BSU response to come in.  The next 5 or so hours  are some of the longest in my life.   I am suspended in mid air, just waiting.  Maybe only Notre Dame is a lie I bargain with myself, mayb eit will all be ok. I know it won’t be.  3:46 PM the nail in his coffin arrives.   He doesn’t exist  at BSU in any capcity either. Same deal.

Status: Unable to confirm by the  information you provided

Because the information you provided did not match any records in our database, we asked the school to research your request. The school was unable to locate  either an enrollment record for the subject of your verification request.  

The good news is while I was waiting for the nail in the coffin I crafted the why did you pick my life to ruin and how could you be so evil for NOTHING email.    One last thing  was the title.   I shoot it off within 3 minutes of getting the BSU results.   I suppose I could of slept on it, tried to be more cunning and play the game or fuck with him some, but that wasn’t what I asked God for and it wasn’t what I wanted or needed.  Here is what I know, I asked and prayed and God delivered swiftly and with force.  There would be no wiggle room in this end.

I’m going to leave this here for now.  If this was the movie it would be the part where everything gets really really quiet, then goes black  because the world is about to suck into a vortex and spit back out in a catastrophic mess.    I sit here now in this moment writing this with very little emotion  other than smug satisfaction of a job well done while Mike Doughty plays His Truth is Marching On,  randomly and in perfect timing on my itunes.

THANK YOU GOD!

More to come soon Lovies, thanks for sticking with me as the ride has its final crash, the only left to write about  is the sorting through the wreckage and pick up the pieces of my life and put it back together.

PS. The next song was Brittney’s  Criminal.  LOL for real!