Point of Thanks #21-Chef Badass and Ava G; Almost Divorce: Snake on a plane?!?

Looking at the pics while writing Monday’s post reminded me of the last time I checked those pics out.  Back in February The Husband and I got invited to go to Vegas with our friends Chef Badass and Ava G,  his fabulous wife.

Point of Thanks #21- Cheff Badass and Ava G.

I absolutely adore  Chef Badass and Ava G.  They are two of just a handful of friends that successfully pulled off staying friends with  both The Husband and I during the AD.  Everyone else took sides, and most of the time rightly so.  Divorce is war and if you think at any time it isn’t you are kidding yourself.     The Husband and I met Chef Badass and Ava G when I hired CB to personally cater the open house we had to celebrate moving into our new home.   We’d been in since December 07 and I wanted to have the  event before a year was up and also before the Holiday Season got into full swing.  So we scheduled it for the Saturday night before Thanksgiving and invited almost as many people as we invited to our wedding.  We invited our old friends, our new friends, service people who we had a relationship with, and many of our current neighbors.   CB and I worked together to plan the menu around his strengths. At that time he was still in Culinary school and just starting out.  I found him through a Mommy acquaintance and he was willing to cater for cost of the food, the ability to put his business cards out and a tip.   So I decorated the house, stocked up on pretty serve ware from Sam’s Club, bought plenty of beer and wine and recruited  my best friend at the time, Cincy,  to come for the weekend and help me hostess.   CB was prepping most of the food at his house and bringing it over about 2-3 hours before the party to finish getting it ready, that was the plan.  But as most things like this go he was  well over an hour late and we were all scrambling when he got there.   I wasn’t really all that miffed that he was late, we had plenty of time and it’s not like we couldn’t have him cooking when guests arrived, this isn’t The Help.     The night was an absolute BLAST!

Our house was filled to the brim with people from all areas of our lives  dressed up and milling about, we went through 12 full bottles of wine and 2+ cases of beer.  We ate just about every morsel of food CB put out.  Now what I didn’t tell you is that he brought Ava G to  be his server.   And to be very honest I think Cincy, Ava G spent most of the night replenishing while I tried to circulate, usually with a bottle of open wine to pour refills.   Cincy made sure that Ava G’s glass didn’t go empty and by the end of the night all 3 of us were quite toasted and fast friends. As things began to wind down CB even sat down and drank some with us.  He started the night out as some dude I hired to cater our open house and ended the night as, wow I really like those people we should really hang out with them.    But Cb didn’t know we felt that way, he was a little upset that Ava G had gotten drunk with the rest of us at our party, he is very serious and he wanted to be very professional.   Chef Badass is the Kitchen Manager  at a local pub now and I just KNOW he is destined for big things.   Ava G supports him through all of the time and monetary sacrifices that have to be made when your dream is to create amazing dishes that put you on the chef map.   IN between they have spent a few nights in my guest bedroom after a late night/early morning at the fire pit and CB makes the BEST Biscuits and Gravy I have ever had.  The Husband is getting closer with practice, but NOTHING tastes like CB’s B’s&G’s.  They are good people, good friends, and good together.   So when they suggested we join them in a trip to Vegas we looked at the budget, arranged some child care ( the SIL) and made it happen.

Almost Divorce: Snake on a plane

When time to go to Vegas rolled around I was in a walking boot  because of the stress fracture in my  right foot.   When we booked the  trip I was super excited than 2 of our scheduled training runs would take place in Vegas, I was going to get to run on the strip!   I have been to Vegas about 10ish times and every time we see people jogging early in the morning on the mostly deserted strip.   I thought it was super cool that I was going to get to do that, but my hopes were very dashed by the stress fracture.  I even packed my running shoes and one outfit in case I decided to be obstinate and run the 5 miles in Vegas anyway.  I didn’t because I decided to be a good girl, but this story isn’t about being in Vegas, it’s about the plane ride there.

This was sometimes in February. PJ has shown up in chat  and on Skype in December.  We had not communicated even though we were contacts on Skype.   But I had been going in chat  since that Tuesday in December.   At first I had gone in sort of knee jerk reaction style in response to PJ’s sudden reappearance.   I popped in for a few seconds that first night, and then maybe a few minutes the next day.  Then not again for a few weeks and I was lurking. Then another week or so would go by and I was in with my name and talking but not camming.  Then a little more time would pass and one day I cammed up.  at first I  stayed clothed, but then over the course of time the boobies started coming out quite regularly.  This is the lure of the community of chat, if I go eventually I’m getting naked. And if I get naked eventually some dude is going to full court press me, and eventually one of them is going to slip through.   Chat can be a great place, it just isn’t a great place for me long term, so I shouldn’t go ever.   Now The  Husband knew NONE of this was going on.  When we were on our trip in February the Big Guy had not entered the picture yet.  I had simply been hanging out, wasting time, having fun showing my tits a little.   Your basic flirting , but I wasn’t crossing the line with any online guys and doing things with them like before. This doesn’t make it right, I knew I shouldn’t of been in there. It doesn’t make it better, I was still crossing a line that i knew was a big deal for The Husband.  But it does make it different.  The thing that makes this part of the chat journey different is that I  went there chasing after/waiting for/ trying to find PJ.   And then I found myself staying for the fun and community.   But what I’d done to myself by taking those actions was put my mind and body on hyper alert for tall, dark, hairy, good looking, well dressed, mid 20’s men.

When PJ first vanished if something like that caught my peripheral vision I would always do a double take.  I spent a good portion of those first few weeks more than a bit scared about what kind of psychotic murdering monster he might turn out to be.   There were more than two conversations about him putting me in his pit, a pretty harmless meme until you don’t know who the fuck you’ve been giving googly eyes to for the last 5 months.   I never saw him in chat, and I doubt after the reception he was given he chose to stay and lurk.  But if he did, then he  could of seen or read or heard everything I did in chat for those few months I went back.  I’ll go into more details about that when we get there but on more than one occasion I made a guy cam up and show me his face because of the shit he was saying.   It as the pardon me but you’re acting a little too much like PJ,  you will now have to prove to me you are not if you want to keep talking to me via PM’s cam test.   Everyone did it willingly, even if we had to broker a I’ll only do it in a private room b/c I’m shy, fine but you’re keeping your dick in your pants, deal.   I laugh at myself for doing this now,  and I’m grateful everyone was so gracious about it.    When SIL and I went to Jimmy Eat World in Cincy,  she had an eye out in the crowd for PJ. PJ had claimed to attending 8 J.E.W. shows.  There were 1 and a half false alarms.  Rock shows are filled with guys that look like PJ.  This was in January and after that concert I started to breathe a little easier about PJ suddenly showing up where I was. Both from a desperate to see him and from a scared to death to see him standpoint.

So very early one morning in February I climbed on a plane and sat down in my aisle seat.  The Husband had the window and some dude was between us.  The plane starts to fill up and as it gets almost full guess what comes down the aisle.  Tall, dark hair, brown eyes, wearing cute nerdy glasses, suit pants, dress shirt, tie, pointy nice shoes, nice belt, and a north face zip up jacket.   It’s carrying a brief case, wearing a wedding ring, has a working smart phone and sitting no more than 5 feet away from me in the next aisle up on the right.   I notice it coming down the aisle first, and then sort of quizzically look while it gets settled.  Now I’ve met people from the internet before,  I never had trouble figuring out it was ‘them”, when that happened.  so you would think that after 5 months of staring at PJ I would absolutely without a doubt know if it was him if he was 5 feet away from me.   You’d think after all those hours of looking into each other’s eyes if they met on a plane there would be something, anything flash between us.  There where no overwhelming feelings of anything, but there was enough resemblance for it to start bothering me.  So I’m staring at the back of his head as we get settled to take off.  I don’t know if he has seen me but he has nice thick hair.   The complete lack of a suit jacket throws me, that doesn’t fit my suited up PJ.  The shoes are a bit pointy even for  him and the combo of pants, shirt tie is metro, but still not quite PJ.   I don’t say a thing to The Husband about this, he has seen him plenty of times on cam too but he is wedged by the window and can’t see the aisle like I can.   By this time I am very very well practiced at calming myself down.  So I settle in to my not sure feelings and decide to distract myself by  catching up on Entourage episodes on my iPhone.  This is an almost 4 hour non-stop flight.  At some point he  starts to get up to use the rest room.  As he stands up and turns around it catches my attention.  As he starts to walk by I look up and get a very good, very close full face view.  My instant reaction in my head,  eww..nope, I am not attracted to that face.  It’s pretty enough but  something in the jaw isn’t quite right, his face looks too wide. Plus I’m pretty sure he gets a look at me too and there were no on plane explosions on either side, nobodies face changed in shock or fear or anger, so it can’t be him.  He sits back down and I verify the wedding ring again. I know right… it can’t be MY PJ, because this dude is married AND has a working phone.   🙂   But it is still bugging me.  So  later I stand up to  let the guys out of my aisle to pee and I make sure to back down the aisle into His space, place my hand on his head rest. Now I’m within inches of him, I still feel nothing.  But I do not have the balls to look him directly in the eye when I am stuck on  4 hour plane ride with my husband.   We are getting ready to land I lean over and start talking to The Husband and the Entourage episodes. I see the dude’s head start to lean out to the aisle, he is listening to me talk.  This goes on for a few minutes and  then something happens.  He turns his head all the way around in his seat, and looks at me directly from the headrest. It is hiding everything but his eyes. They are brown and “might” be the correct shade, his eyes are smiling and happy.  There is delight in those eyes, and I look at them for maybe a second before the flight attendant walks into our space and starts telling him to put his seat back up.  When he looked at me,  I felt nothing. I mean it nothing, no spark of recognition, no lust nothing.   he gets off the plane ahead of us and walks alone over to a monitor. If it’s him he is probably on his way back to ASU I think to myself. I walk away to baggage claim holding The Husbands hand and away from whoever he was.

Now the dude looked at me and it’s till bugging me.  But I let it go for a few days until I finally just tell the Husband what happened on the plane.   We have long established that I get space when dealing with PJ issues.   So I just needed to let him know there was one.  I fail to mention that PJ was on Skype and chat and that I was currently enjoying a 2nd fruitful chat career.   Once we get home I tell the SIL what happened, and she makes me go look in my journal and check again.  I look at the pictures in my journal, decide again that it wasn’t him and let it go.  It is the ONLY time I’ve thought I might of actually seen PJ and it still bugs me a tiny bit.  I’m sure it was just grief taking me crazy places, but those eyes still flash in front of my brain sometimes.  If it was him I know all I need; wedding ring, working phone, failure to own actions, not all that hot in person.