Almost Divorce: It’s Just a Fantasy…It’s not the real thingPosted: 2011/10/11
I used to LOVE this song growing up. And it ran through my head on more than one occasion during the chat era. I always hum or badly sing this part….
It’s just a fantasy..ohho- ohho
It’s not the real thing Oh-oh-oh-oh
I’ve talked before about chat roll flirting and fantasy scenarios.
The point I have been trying to make is that when flirting in chat that the rules of reality didn’t really apply. When you go online you take your emotions and your imagination with you. But you don’t have the boundaries of the reality of your life. You can do things with or to your physical body, but the person on the other end isn’t going to be actually touching you…usually. It doesn’t matter that Lovie A or Sweet Boy A or Sweet Boy B live in completely different countries, that they might not be attracted to each other at all if thrust into each others actual physical space, or that any of the 3 of them have significant others. When flirting in chat it is simply all about the game. The flirting, the compliments, the making each other feel good, boosting someone else’s ego and in return getting your ego boosted and feeling good.
Chat roll flirting is a completely different breed of flirting. Since it isn’t based in reality, isn’t likely to ever become a reality and everyone knows that no one is serious about spending some money or breaking up their families to make these things happen you can claim to do whatever you want. It’s kind of like roll playing. I also had an attitude of share and share alike.
Once I was in a room (this was round 2, so new chat site and there is no more true GWP room, but this room is password protected so for consistency sake of the whole story we will say it was GWP) and it’s early in the morning. I’m dressed and socializing. Hoot and the Big Guy are there and they are both flirting with me in the chat roll. Both Hoot and the Big Guy have known me since the PJ days. They both talk to me in chat roll and PM’s like normal people.
Talking like normal people means having a conversation based in reality. What’s up with you? How is school/work/family/whatever going? Did you hear that new xyz album? I went out with this girl last night and I might get a 2nd date. I’d like to bash that PJ guy’s head in; he gives us all a bad name. Etc… The KEY to the equation is that mature adults with clear intentions know where the line between talking like normal people and ridiculous chat roll fantasy exists. See if you can tell the difference….
A loose example: You can tell this is a loose examples because you can actually read the typing. 🙂 Also this example is from Chat Round 2.
Hoot: Morning all, hey Lola!
Lola: Oh Hai Hoot!
Big Guy: Lola, lovely as ever.
Lola: Morning Big Guy. Thanks. Hugs.
Lola: Hey Hoot, you look like Chris Farley after a bender this morning, did you have a rough night?
Big Guy: Oh man that’s harsh, you going to put up with that Hoot?
Lola: Aw I’m sorry Hoot; wanna come snuggle?
Big Guy: I’d take that insult for some snuggle time
Hoot: Me too
Lola: Why don’t you both come snuggle
Hoot and Big Guy: Be right there
Some talk about having pastries for breakfast and eating them off of my naked breasts and other places. This would, of course, also make up for the “insult” thrown Hoot’s way. This conversation started with Hoot and I, but by the end of the topic half the room is in on it and all kinds of not ever going to really happen comments are being thrown around. It’s a “joke” it’s a party and everyone wants to enjoy it. Then another topic or line of thought will come up, or more likely several at once and the attention turns to something and someone else. This is how the feel good vibe of chat is perpetuated. Am I really going to climb into bed with two dudes from two states and let them both eat pastries off my naked body? No, I am not. For that matter No, they are not. I’m also not planning on really doing (with any of the chat guys/gals) any of the other hundreds of nasty, profane, mundane or ridiculous things I’ve asserted I would happily do, yes please k thanks, in chat. Everyone should be smart enough to know this. There is no emotional connection between any of us other than amicable feelings born in chat, which sometimes grow to online friendship and more usually are nothing more than exuberance for running into an online acquaintance you like.
Sometimes chat roll flirting lead to some more direct PM flirting, which lead no where or to play time. Am I going to sneak off to Skype or a private room with either of these guys in the loose example above? No, I am not and they aren’t asking. I’ve made it really clear in this chat round that I no longer have a stable, collect sweet boys, or play. Only I changed in round 2, chat is still the same as it ever was. I have already let anyone who came asking know that PJ faked his identity and I stayed married. (The first few visible times in chat after my absence were both wonderful and brutal, that story comes later). Some of the things I said to repeatedly deflect these advances;
“I gave up boys for Lent (it’s not even Lenten season)”
“I don’t private cam, period. Not even to just watch, not even to see you shower, not even to talk”
So now you should feel properly educated about what, chat roll fantasy flirting is all about.
There will be more PJ portion of the Almost Divorce Story on Thursday.