Almost Divorce- Part 7 Time for a gonewild chat

07/18/2012-

Welcome to the 2nd  most read page on this blog.

Let me save you a LOT of time.  If you are just here to find out about Reddit’s r/gonewild, what is is all about, how to post , what you can expect to see etc.. go here and scroll down a bit.

If  you want to know about chat,  keep reading this page and/or click  here  and/or here

If you are just trying to find out how to GET to chat.  I believe if you look on the right side of the page on  r/gonewild  front page you will find a link somewhere nearer the bottom than the top that says something like, click here to go to chat.

If you’re here for porn only , there isn’t any on this site, thanks for stopping by, enjoy the rest of your day.

If you are the least bit interested in how a girl  ( me) went to both r/gonewild and chat , then stupidly fell in love with a full on sociopath and almost destroyed her marriage and life feel free to go back to the beginning and read the whole thing.  Be careful out there Lovies!

Best,

Lola

And now back to the original post….

This series is  published once a week on Thursday’s.  Or you can start at the beginning here

We’ve arrived at chat. The largest player in this journey and where I will  spend more and more and more of my personal time to the point I almost prefer to be online than out socializing.    Or maybe I was just enjoying that life more than the fucked up mess I was dealing with when the computer was turned off and many times while it was still on.   In the middle of this I become a divorcing single parent and that narrows my circles quite a bit in itself.  I already have my man in the wings and so that cuts down further social contact until I start to date other boys who I can actually touch and who are not The Husband or PJ.   Though The Husband and I  did  actually touch while were were divorcing.   It is what it is with us.

With the same disclaimers as the Part 3 Reddit r/gonewild post.

Gonewild Chat Rooms

How:

Even in this very moment, if I wanted to be naked in a public gonewild chat room I could probably  accomplish that task in less than 10 minutes.    Even without the benefit of a cam I could also accomplish this with just my voice  and a few key phrases for voice identification,  I choose not to. Once into public I could probably  be nestled safely back in a password protected room with most of my old friends and some new ones within the next 5.   Once you have made online friend connections in chat it really is that easy to go back  in, people come and go all the time for months on end.     Sometimes I wish chat was not so bad for me because I miss my friends and hanging out and the conversations and the learning opportunities.  I have tried to be in  chat in a non destructive way.   I can for a long period of time, but eventually I’m going to be spending too much time there and  something or someone  is always going to catch up to me. It’s simply the nature of the community and my personality .   I will end up  stepping into a much darker shade of grey than I care to live my life.   And I will get there by making that first step over into the very light grey.  It’s just another one of those lines I shouldn’t cross.

  1. The chat room  names or links for the r/gonewild public crowd were usually posted on r/gonewild
  2. Private group chat rooms either set up subreddits by invite only or published a password to their group in some manner
  3. If  you had a friend in G-chat or Skype and they knew where the room currently was and what the password was.

Where:

  1. r/gonewild public chat rooms were created on these chat sites by  redditors.. not Reddit.  Someone or a group of  people would take on the responsibility of creating the room, posting info about it and making sure there were moderators, managing it how they saw fit etc.
  2. GWP had a password protected  chat room.  It was on the first web hosted chat site and some of the GWP owners funded the room and they graciously opened to all of us as GWP.
  3. As time progressed the public chat community moved its chat rooms from one site to another as needed.
  4. Sometimes leadership of the rooms changed during these moves, sometimes it didn’t
  5. Sometimes there were multiple site options if things were going in multiple directions at once
  6. It’s been in one place for about a year now, and is very well run by redditors who own the site. They work hard and it’s well run.

Who:

GW is geared to by anonymous by nature; it is normal to interact using throwaway Reddit accounts and alias email accounts.  So anonymity is respected and accepted, but not everyone chooses to stay anonymous. Many people in chat and GW do tell you their real identity and may want to know yours.   Many of the guys I  met wanted to know where I really lived in order to ascertain how likely it was that they could come and actually have sex with me vs. just show me themselves or watch me touch myself on camera.   This is an important point b/c if someone wants to stay anonymous online, the community had rules and of course there are moral guidelines to protecting that anonymity.   Basically you cannot give away details about anyone’s real life except your  own.   But you can give away any info of your own you want and lot’s of chatters choose to share their version of real details with people they meet on chat.   Identity can be sticky topic in the GW world. You certainly don’t need to know the details of the dude whose body  you’re gonna fap (because that’s what it sounds like when it’s happening)  to this afternoon, but you might want to know the full details of the boy you think you’d like to have an actual relationship with.

Especially if he is the one bringing those details up and feeding them to you.  Details that put him in very close proximity to the parts he’s been watching on your cam. The identity lies PJ told me first include both his first name and where we was in grad school.  This was in the first 2-3 weeks of meeting him online and he did this by  introducing the subject for the first time and stating he wasn’t going to give me the information.  Then making me guess and saying,” maybe, maybe, it begins with P”..blah blah blah.  Then within 24 hours of that game he’d provide me the information like it was some  special gift that I only was going to know.  He would serve me huge doses of life stories and experiences full of details about what he had been through, or where he’d been or other people in his life.   We spent our time talking like any couple.  But as far as identity pinpointing or validating details he liked to dole those out in teeny tiny pieces like they were precious gifts of his soul.   He did this with his area code,  the  small town he was born in and spending that summer in, the town he spent about ages 5-10 in, his undergrad and grad school college. Oh and his middle name and full birth date.   I’m sure there is more, we could probably just say a blanket everything that came out of his mouth and be covered.

I got his last name in the middle of a fight he had absolutely zero hand in. I was pissed and he was nailed.    He begged I demanded the last name. He went on and on about how he had not committed the offense and would NEVER commit the offense. At the time my response was to demand his last name.  He gave it to me in one word then promptly DELETED the first ItsPJ@gmail address he had created and pawned off to me as his real, full fledged life account.    He claims he also almost threw his laptop in the pool because he was so mad, and then he climbed in a car and drive two states away over the weekend to drop off his cousin and pick up his sister.  Um you are mad because I asked you for your last name, and then you chose to give me a fake one??   Anger issues much little boy?
He initiated the  I was never going to really DO that conversation with me several times over the next few months.    It was for some reason very important to PJ for me to know that he could not stay away from me, could not keep himself from wanting me or thinking about me.       It took him almost another MONTH before he created a supposedly new real itsstillPJ@gmail account.   He spent that month IM-ing and emailing me using his PJGW@gmail account and changing the details on his Skype account to his touchable life  first name and last initial, and birthday. So he is is telling this identity lie not just to me, but to everyone at GW  he interacts with using Gmail or Skype.   When he sets up this brand new real like itstillPJ@gmail account, he sends me not only an email telling me I’m first to get one, but also claims to  start chatting with me first on it.

Really, that happened, this kid is a true piece of work. I mean , as if the first fake account getting set up and nuked wasn’t insult enough.   As if it wasn’t enough to take it out of the business of play in the first place by lying and insinuating he was nearby and very interested in me as a person beyond my body.   He was only in it for the real porn and the emotional trauma he could inflict and then sit back and watch the drama enfold.  Rinse repeat.   I took that ride more than a few times before I finally got off.   It made me dizzy.

But as for the rest of the chat participants who aren’t PJ.

  1. Yes its 90+% dudes and roughly 10% girls.  Maybe 85/15.
  2. Chat has visitors from many countries.  I met people from the US, Canada, Great Britain, Ireland,  Brazil, Chile, Netherlands, Scotland, New Zealand, Australia,  Sweden, Norway, and others.
  3. Chat has visitors of all ages, 18 and up, you prove this by clicking through whatever 18+ measures have been set up on the site in use.  Room owners/ mods also take their additional screening for under 18 kids coming in posing as older  job seriously.   NO ONE WANTS AN UNDERAGE KID IN CHAT….EVER.  If you show up to a chat room looking 16  someone is going to demand you cam up privately and show ID.
  4. The rooms when I was there are definitely heavier on the in college and just past college kids. There  are also plenty of others of all ages. The oldest dude I ever saw on chat was about 65, the oldest chick was  in her mid 40’s.
  5. In some rooms the mere presence of a minor in a users  cam will get them kicked from the room, I’m not talking creepy dudes putting underage girls on cam here lovies.  I’m talking about parents whose kids like to barge in without knocking or wander in while someone is afk with their cam still on
  6. Chat is made up of   both parents and non parents. I always felt the parents were the minority but there were plenty of us there. I’m going to hazard a guess that  married men with kids are more prone to be lurkers in chat.
  7. Chat rooms had a heavy population of redditors, but also people who just found it for the gonewild part
  8. It seems that the mix of single to not single people was always in flux  and always weighted more towards singles.
  9. There were couples that came to chat together or separately.
  10. I would guess that the vast majority of chat users SO’s did not  know they went to chat or GW.    But there were plenty of us  who did have SO’s that were aware.

What:

Chat is kind of like stepping into another world, the mix of people is as infinite as the potential social interactions that can be had within the limit of the technology.  It’s not just all naked people all the time, there is a LOT of conversation going on and it isn’t all about sex either.

  1. This is group chat.  Public chat roll, slots for cams or audio and a mechanism to send private messages from one user to another.  PJ did not know there was even a  Private Message aka PM option before I PM’ed him the morning I met him.
  2. The chat roll where you can type messages to the whole room and have conversations with everyone else
  3. You can have private conversations with others using the PM feature, it’s like IMing inside of chat.   That always seemed like the darkest level of the pit/rabbit hole to me. Here I am online, but hiding in GWP which is more private that public, then I’m having a hidden conversation inside of there.   PJ and I communicated this way almost exclusively when we were both in a chat room together.   This was on top of the chat roll conversations we would be participating in as a couple, chat roll conversations we would be having on our own, and other PM conversations we were carrying on.  If  I was ALSO in public chat while in GWP this could be multiplied x2 – the PJ PM’s. PJ and I always PM’ed inside of GWP.  It was our hiding place form the bitches and drama in public.   Or maybe it was his way of keeping me out of public and away from his other bitches.   PJ was VERY prone to carrying on multiple PM conversations at once.
  4. There are up to 15 slots for people to be on cam, sometimes they are empty and sometimes they are full and people are waiting for a spot.
  5. It’s not a big live online sex orgy  when you first  login,  it is more sparsely populated and tame during the day of USA hours and as it gets later or it is a weekend it tends to get fuller and  wilder and more naked
  6. There are rules and they are taken seriously.  They are in the same vein as the be  Respectful and not a giant pandering douche bag rules that exist for  r/gonewild
  7. Just about anything goes as long as it appears that  all parties on cam are of age, consensual and aware they are being broadcast
  8.  Individual cams are hide able, meaning you don’t HAVE to watch what someone is showing.  If you don’t like it, then you don’t look.

Categories of people in chat:

  1. Lurkers: Never cam up and never say anything in the  chat roll .  They are your silent voyeurs. They could be anyone and that always made me  a bit nervous.  You can judge the personality and therefore trustworthiness of   the people you see on cam and see talk in chat roll or directly to you. Lurkers do not make it into the smaller less public rooms, because they don’t establish a connection with anyone to be able to do so.  PJ told me he was a lurker from January to late March before he started talking or camming up in public chat.   Take that in… PJ WAS A LURKER.. k..got it?
  2. GWers who don’t cam up:   Never cam up, but do talk in chat roll or PM people directly. These are your social voyeurs. Depending on how much interaction they have they could be lurkers who talk , It’s just like real life, a person is  assigned a level on your friendship spectrum depending on your interactions with them. In chat it’s the same but  you also have to take into account the collective community factor.  Which I suppose is the same as the larger  social circle factor in touchable life.  Can anyone else tell I must of just written the PJ primer and have quit calling it real life? I’m retraining myself to call it touchable life. We shall see if it sticks.
  3. Never nudes: Cam up but never go wild, the amount of skin they show is minimal. Talk in chat roll and in PM’s.
  4. The rest of us: We cam up, we may or may not show face, eventually almost everyone who cams up shows face, even if they do not start out that way.   It took me a few weeks or so from first going into chat as a headless set of boobs and a mouth to get trusting enough to show my face. As I got to know more people the more comfortable I felt.   I most certainly preferred to see a face and more of the whole body vs a floating penis or  super up close sex scene.   I think this is also human nature, people want to connect and faces assist with that connection.   A face and it’s expressions add another layer to the written chat communication and help you better understand tone and intent and personality.
  5. Moderators: Trusted chat members who take on the job of moderating the room,  keeping order, banning trolls if needed, checking Id’s on  young looking cammers.  There are permanent mods, those who are a mod every time they enter the room, and as needed mods. Mod rights were often instilled to all girls on cam.  There a lot of creepy people out there and there is no faster way to discover this than to get naked in a public chat room, or even a private chat room sometimes if it has  a bunch of newly added people.
  6. Trolls: giant jackass douche bags looking to cause a scene or hurt some feelings or both, the general stance on trolls is ignore them, kick them, ban them etc.  There will always be more where they came from, trolls are just a part of the internet.  Yes trolls can be girls but I personally don’t think many are.
  7. White Knights: Dudes who just CANNOT ignore the trolls.  I’m not talking guys who will stand up for you publicly in a room when someone is being a pandering idiot or giant douche, or needs to be gently or not so gently reminded of the rules.  DRAMA kings and queens.



4 Comments on “Almost Divorce- Part 7 Time for a gonewild chat”

  1. […]  you want to know about chat click   here and/or […]

  2. […] Almost Divorce- Part 7 Time for a gonewild chat […]

  3. […] OK lovies, enough dicking around. Let’s get to the good stuff. I’m pretty sure the haters and faint of heart have bailed by now, so let’s get to business.    I’ve FULLY embraced this story in all its glory in the last week.   I guess all that bullshit about writing being cathartic is  showing to be partially true.   The timing of this one is funny, because last week on Wednesday night I had a Reddit meet up with Panda.  And on Thursday morning the post about  Reddit meet ups hit. Ah serendipity sometimes is nice.  And um yes this does mean I logged in at 10:21pm EST the night before this is due at 7am ( decided to publish early)  to write and edit. And found a whopping one paragraph waiting for me.   It’s all good though, I’m super stoked to write this one, even if I have to do it until 1am. So without further ado, let’s hit this.  Just remember all my warnings and caveats when we started this with Part 3. And repeated again in Part 7. […]

  4. […] 21, 2010 PJ ends things rather than move them forward,  that weekend the I wasn’t going to do that fight happens,  the last name is given, his first real gmail account is nuked into oblivion. […]


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