Besties and BGP

Women love their friends ferociously.   This love is held in bonds of our heart.  We establish and strengthen those bonds  with currency of shared opinions, experiences and secrets of our past and present.  We may have many  friends along all  the spectrum of that, but is we are lucky we also have at least one, but preferably more besties.

These are the women I call my soul mate friends.   I have known some longer than others  but all  have one thing in common, we are bound to each other by the love in our hearts, and within that love is the trust that when we tell each other something we can share ALL of it with no fear for the safety of our feelings or the spreading of our secrets.

All women have secrets, if you think we don’t you are kidding yourself.  Secrets in our hearts, things we have thought or said or done or seen  that we  do not want to carry the guilt/shame/fear/anger burden of alone so we share them with each other.  We lean on each other to play the role of confessor, of mentor, of whose ass do I need to kick for you. And when those things we are sharing are not as true to ourselves as they should be,  we serve each other as purveyors of BGP.  Big Girl Panties.

Every one of us should have a FIRM hold on not only what our personal BGP look like and where to find them at all times, but also of actually putting them on and wearing them in all areas of our lives.   Stay true to ourselves, own what we do, embrace what should be clung to and run  away from imminent train wrecks.  But like all things, sometimes being a big girl can be harder than others.   We are human and beautifully flawed.  We all have times we momentarily forget we have them on or to put them on, or take them off for a while, or lose them completely for a time. Every girl needs at least one friend who will be there when you aren’t there for yourself.   Even if I’ve already gone to GOD my personal ultimate BGP purveyor;  I still turn to the girls I love ferociously.

I’m super squee excited about something. It hasn’t happened just yet but all the wheels are in motion in the universe for one of my besties to move with her family into my neighborhood.   She will be my NEIGHBOR!!! She can walk over anytime and sit on my patio with me and talk while drinking a cold beverage of some sort.  You do not have to explain things to old or close friends the way you do to new ones.  She already knows me and my heart,  she knows what I am not saying just as easily as she knows what I am saying and can respond accordingly.  It’s easy spending time with girls you love, no matter what you are doing.

I’ve known her for more than 25 years and although we haven’t always been in the same state, or even been in close contact every year in the last 25, she is one of those friends that I can pick up where we left off, no matter how long it’s been.   The bond we have forged has lasted.   There have been no girl code infractions that caused lasting damage.   There are not many women tied as closely to me than she is.  That alone is enough to put me over the moon about having her so  close and accessible. But it gets even deeper for me because our sons are the same age. And those two boys will get to grow up together, going to the same schools, playing on the same streets with the same kids,   hopefully forming the boy versions of besties that she and I have realized.  I’m keeping my excitement as quelled as I can until their house is done being built and they move in….but it’s hard. SQUEEEEEE!!!!