A note about Daddies from 2003

When MiniMe was little I used to write an email note every month, this is one from her first year.   I will write a current Fathers Day post before the weekend is out.

Best, Lola

A note about Daddies:

I was going to include this note about Daddies in Mini Me’s 6^th month update, but decided that I probably had too much to write and may not be able to wait until then. Last week I went to Vegas with my friend  . This left The Husband alone with Mini Me for 3 days and 2 nights.  Upon sharing this with the world, we were greeted with reactions of amazement. “Who’s going to care for that baby?” I was asked. Reports from The Husband tell of shock and disbelief that he was capable of doing such a thing, let alone willing.  I am here to tell the world that in my house, that is very much NOT the case.

I’m from a generation of kids who had Dads that did a great job of working outside the house or fixing the toilet, but who didn’t score real high in the ability or desire to smoothly run a house or provide too much care of the children. My Dad rocked in many ways and in all fairness I should tell you that when I was a baby he cared for me for almost 3 years by himself after my Mom died. But later in my childhood he was neither allowed to make Kool Aid, nor do the laundry. When I say he wasn’t allowed, I mean he was BANNED from doing these things because he did them once or twice and it did not turn out well. His culinary abilities were limited to steak in the broiler and the best fried potatoes you ever had, greasy sunny side up eggs, and the occasional Spam sandwich fried in the skillet with so much butter the bread was soggy. My stepmom tells the story of coming home after 3-4 days of being gone during the blizzard of ‘78 and finding my little brother in the same T-shirt he was wearing when she left. He had been given a bath every night, maybe, and put right back into the same clothing he was already wearing.

Today when people ask me if my husband is babysitting I have to politely remind them that you can’t baby-sit your own children. Why is it that Mommies are in most cases automatically assumed to be not only the primary caregiver, but also the only caregiver to the family offspring? Is this that much of a stretch to believe that some Daddies are not only capable but also willing to be intimately involved in the raising of their sons and daughters to the fullest extent. In my opinion and no disrespect to all the others, The Husband is in the 90% of husbands and Daddies. That is to say he is as good or better than 90% of all husbands and Daddies out there. I waited 29 years to find him and hope to spend 59 years appreciating what I have. I could go on and on about how well he cooks, does laundry, keeps the network running and puts the toilet seat down. I could tell you well his Mother taught him to be thoughtful, loving and an equal partner in all that we do.  How he slept next to me on a hard uneven sofa bed for 4 nights after I had Mini Me. I could remind you about how he gets Mini Me up, dresses her and gets her to daycare each time she goes. Or how when she was still unpredictable in sleeping he took the 9-midnight shift every night so I could get some sleep. I could find an example of things like this for almost every day I have known The Husband.  But instead I’ll just invite you to notice the look that I get in my eyes whenever he is in the room, notice the smile that lights up my daughters face each time her Daddy comes near.  I wish the same good fortune for each of you.

Did it all work out ok you ask? Yes, it did, he knows her well enough to follow her schedule and read the clues she gives about her wants. I’m sure she missed me, but only because I (and my body parts) weren’t there, her Daddy took care of all she needed. He already knew how because he already does it, because he wants to.  And we both love him so very much for choosing to be that way. I hope I didn’t embarrass him too much, but I wanted the world to see him through our eyes.